100 Man Cave Rules for Your Man Cave Sign

Your man cave is the one place in your house where you are completely in charge. Your man cave is your domain. You are the king. You make the rules. Any rules you want.

Some guys like to say, “The only rule is that there are no rules!” If that’s you, more power to you. But in order to keep your space truly yours, we recommend you have at least a few rules.

With that being said, we thought we would help you brainstorm some ideas. Below is a list of 100 man cave rules that can help you write the laws of your kingdom. Some are serious, others are funny. These are just sample rules, so take what you like and leave what you don’t. When you’re done, you can create your own custom man cave rules sign.

100 Man Cave Rules

1. My cave, my rules
2. Enter at your own risk
3. No women
4. No children
5. Dogs welcome
6. Dogs under 20 pounds are not dogs
7. No politics
8. No one sits in my recliner
9. No light beer
10. No wine spritzers
11. No complaining about your fantasy football team
12. No crying over bad beats (poker)
13. Must have a beer in hand at all times
14. Must root for the Steelers, Penguins, and Pirates
15. No chick flicks
16. The remote is mine
17. Junk food is nutrition
18. Farting and burping is tolerated
19. The TV is for sports only
20. Figure skating is not a sport
21. No Gilmore Girls reruns ever
22. No talking about feelings
23. Man decorates man cave
24. Crying is only permitted after your team loses a playoff game
25. Scratch where it itches
26. Toilet seat remains up
27. Bacon is a vegetable
28. Loud and unruly behavior is acceptable
29. They’re not dolls, they’re action figures
30. “Yes” and “no” are acceptable answers to any question
31. Free entry with alcohol
32. Don’t move my tools
33. No utensils, eat with your hands
34. No pink
35. What happens in the man cave, stays in the man cave
36. Beer pong and flip cup are exercise
37. Video games are mental exercise
38. Comic books are classic novels
39. No wasting beer
40. Selective hearing only
41. No flowers
42. No candles
43. Bar is open 24/7
44. Always keep bar stocked
45. Don’t touch my stuff
46. Sports cards are not toys, they are sound financial investments
47. Farts are funny
48. Absolutely no cheering for the rival team
49. No pillows on the couch
50. The refrigerator is for beer only
51. Cigar smoking is acceptable
52. Must have thick skin to enter
53. All issues will be resolved with arm wrestling
54. Will Ferrell movies are cinematic classics
55. No “just checking” on the man. He’s fine.
56. No fighting
57. Arguing over sports in acceptable
58. No selfies
59. You are not required to remove your shoes before entering
60. No sissy music
61. No bitching at any time
62. Showering is optional
63. Feet are allowed on furniture
64. Ditka is a god
65. Don’t take yourself too seriously
66. When you are in the man cave you are not a doctor, or lawyer, or teacher. You are a man. Act like it.
67. Leg day is optional
68. Inside the cave, I am always right. Outside the cave, my wife is always right.
69. Whatever man says makes perfect sense
70. No eating salad
71. Sleeves are optional
72. Pants are napkins
73. If you open a beer, finish it
74. No uninvited guests
75. Watching football on Sunday counts as going to church
76. The Holy Trinity is football, beer, and bacon
77. No man buns
78. Leave your political correctness at the door
79. No showing pictures of your kids
80. Beer is hydration
81. No “diet” beverages
82. Cursing and swearing are permitted
83. No sunglasses at the poker table
84. Education is important, but football is importanter
85. No correcting grammar mistakes
86. Do not steal another man’s seat when he gets up to get beer
87. No Patriots fans allowed
88. Gambling is encouraged
89. No drinks on the pool table
90. No working or checking your email
91. Sweatpants are always acceptable attire
92. No eating gluten-free food without a doctor’s note
93. If you can’t name the starting offensive line, your opinion doesn’t count
94. No talking about wives or girlfriends
95. Vegetables must be dipped in blue cheese or ranch dressing
96. No looking at the nutrition facts
97. Nobody cares how cool you were in high school. Keep it to yourself.
98. Must wear team colors on game day
99. Rules are not made to be broken
100. Any disputes, refer to rule #1

Well that’s all 100. We highly recommend not implementing all 100 rules unless you have no friends and plan on using your man cave as your personal Fortress of Solitude.

Need some help picking out the rules for your man cave? Check out our Man Cave Rule Generator.

Also, if you need some ideas for how to put up your rules check out the alphabet sign company. They have all kinds of ways to put up words on boards large and small!